Asheville – October is domestic violence Awareness month. Domestic violence (DV) is an uncomfortable topic that all too frequently gets swept under the rug, but not nearly as uncomfortable as being a victim of abuse. It tears apart families, and creates more abuse when children who’ve experienced the violence often pass it on to their own spouses and kids. Families of the victims often want to help, but until the one being abused is ready and has the opportunity to leave, they are left feeling helpless and afraid.
Allison (A.G.) Hammond experienced the living hell of abuse for 27 years. She tried to leave 7 times, and with help from a local agency was finally able to make the break. Because of her experience, A.G. vowed to help others in the nightmare cycle of domestic violence, creating Verbal Purple (VP)™, calling it an Autonomous Awareness Promotional Engine. VP creates events made to show survivors of domestic violence, sexual abuse and trafficking that they have a community of support. There is safety in community. There is hope.
Domestic Violence Awareness Event
On October 4th, at 6 p.m., Verbal Purple will be having their third domestic violence awareness fundraising event. This years event will held at the Blue Ridge Beer Garden, 402 S Church St, Hendersonville, and will provide funding for Safelight of Hendersonville. Safelight makes it possible for families who want to be free of violent relationships to succeed.
This event is for anyone who wishes to help, but it is especially for anyone seeking help for themselves, family members, or friends. There will be people there who are trained to assist women in need.
The event will include games, music by The Purple KosmicPeople, a prize raffle drawing giveaway, and a costume contest (no masks please). There is a $10 entry donation requested, unless you are seeking help.
Domestic Violence Ends In Homicides in NC
The incidents of domestic violence turning into homicide is increasing in NC. There were 115 individual victims reported in 2022, up to 135 in 2023, an increase of 17.4%. Of those 78 victims were female, 57 victims were male. Six of the 135 victims in 2023 had previously taken out protective orders when the homicide occurred. Henderson County has three cases of DV homicide in 2021 and 2022. Buncombe County had twelve homicides between 2019 and 2023.
DV Increased During Covid
Domestic violence increases during times of high stress or financial difficulties, and that was true during the Covid lockdowns. According to the National Library of Medicine (PubMed), the covid measures put in place had “a profound impact on society leading to social, financial and psychological repercussions. The temporary shutdown of non-essential businesses has led to unemployed and economic strain. Quarantine conditions are associated with alcohol abuse, depression, and post-traumatic stress symptoms. Stay-at-home orders may cause a catastrophic milieu for individuals whose lives are plagued by domestic violence.” Some states had reported DV calls up 22%.
DV usually occurs in a domestic space when one individual holds power over another. DV is a broad term and typically includes intimate partner violence (IPV) (e.g., usually occurs between current or former intimate partners and includes stalking, psychological, sexual and physical violence) elder abuse (e.g., involves negligent or intentional acts which cause harm) and child abuse (e.g., includes neglect, physical harm, sexual violence, and emotional harm).
Why Is It So Hard To Leave?
Allison was only 19 when she fell in love with a man who looked wonderful on the outside. She explained the slow creep of brain washing that abusers use. “As a matter of perspective and science, there are similarities of torture and mind control in abusive relationships to concentration camps.” She continued, “I could not escape under threats of death or separation from my children, two insidious effective brain washing techniques. I became proficient at “concealing”, “submission” and “diversion”. When my ex directed anger at the children, I would redirect his wrath on me, like the “sacrificial lamb”, using whatever it took to divert attention.”
Then one day she had finally had enough when he went after the baby. She stood up to him, knowing it was dangerous. He took the kids away, but eventually she was able to get them back with help from Helpmate, an Asheville, N.C. domestic violence nonprofit who stood with her in the court, and she also connected with another Buncombe County nonprofit, Our Voice.
If you know someone in need of help you can contact Helpmate or Our Voice in Buncombe County, or the Family Justice Center Alliance. In Henderson County contact Safelight.